In most cultures superiors are freer to look at subordinates than the other way around. Eye contact therefore also is related to power and perceived power. If Alberto looks directly at his employee John, he indicates that he has a right to do so. If John lowers his eyes when Alberto looks at him, he may be indicating that he accepts his subordinate position. Of course, eye contact is only one aspect of showing power. Traditionally, men can look more at women than women can look at men. In the United States, for example, "ogling," looking at the other sex, may be interpreted as a form of sexual harassment and may even have legal consequences. Eye contact, as a result, is becoming complicated in that culture. European women sometimes comment that men from the United States are cold and don't know how to flirt, the innocent game of looking and establishing eye contact. At the same time women from the United States who visit Southern European countries are often uncomfortable when men look at them. The looking is interpreted as offensive staring.
Rules governing eye contact are different in different cultures, and that difference can make people feel uncomfortable without being aware of why they are uncomfortable. In the United States it is customary to look at the speaker's mouth when listening but make intermittent eye contact with the eyes of a listener when speaking. In China it is the opposite: A speaker rivets the listener with sustained, unbroken eye contact, but a listener does not make eye contact or look at the speaker's face consistently.
Since several cultures consider the eye to be "the window of the soul," eye contact or its lack is interpreted to have special meaning. In these cultures eye contact is related to honesty. In other cultures eye contact is seen as an invasion of privacy.
Eye Contact as a Sign of Honesty
"He couldn't even look me in the eye" is a common phrase that in Western cultures indicates that the speaker had something to hide. In North American and Northern
European cultures eye contact shows openness, trustworthiness, and integrity. One doesn't have anything to hide. If a woman from the United States looks directly at^ someone, she allows that person to see her eyes and decide whether she is trustworthy. Someone who does not make eye contact is considered shifty and makes the listener suspicious. In that case, the defenses go up and one becomes more careful. People from all cultures carry their cultural attitudes toward eye contact with them, and like most aspects of nonverbal behavior, eye contact does not travel easily across cultural boundaries. In most cases we don't consciously think of eye contact; we do it subconsciously. As a result, habits relating to eye contact are difficult to change.
Arab cultures, even more than Western cultures, use very intense eye contact and concentrate on eye movement to read real intentions. The feeling is that the eye does not lie. To see the eye more clearly, Arabs move closer, and that makes non-Arabs uncomfortable. This links eye contact to the use of space. As we will see throughout this chapter, nonverbal communication signals are linked.
A person from Japan, for example, would feel uncomfortable both with the intense eye contact and with the close physical proximity. That person will feel even more uncomfortable if the Arab, in addition to making close eye contact and standing very close to the listener, touches the listener. In this case the Arab is sending three very strong nonverbal signals, all of which run counter to what is acceptable nonverbal behavior in Japan.
In many cases an Arab speaker may not want to disclose his innermost feelings, yet because of the culture, he cannot refuse eye contact. Therefore, he may look for other means to protect his feelings and intentions. Some people say that the Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, for example, always used to wear sunglasses so that the people he was talking to could not follow the movement of his eyes. They argued that the sunglasses were an attempt to hide his true intentions and motives.
Eye Contact as a Sign of Invasion of Privacy
To look someone in the eye in Japan is to invade that person's space. It is rude. When samurai held power, a strict code of behavior was enforced regarding who could look at whom and for how long one could look, and one violated those codes at one's peril. This has carried over into modern society. The Japanese may sit close together in an office, but they seldom look each other in the eye.
The Japanese feel uncomfortable with direct eye contact, and they want to avoid it.
In addition, not looking someone in the eye preserves that person's private space or bubble. In a crowded country the preservation of privacy by any means is considered important. When greeting someone, one bows and looks past the other person. If you do not want to acknowledge a person at all, for example, if you are concentrating on something important and don't want to lose your focus, you may simply look down as you walk past the other person. What could be seen as a slight or insult in Western countries would simply be a signal that you do not want to be interrupted. The degree of American eye contact would be considered staring and rude in the Japanese environment. Even on the crowded subways and trains nobody makes eye contact. People look past each other.
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